


Detour

by BlackBrie



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series), Shadows of the Damned
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:54:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26993257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackBrie/pseuds/BlackBrie
Summary: On his way down the City of the Damned, Garcia and Johnson gets sucked into Pentagram City, where they're picked up by Charlie and invited to stay at her new hotel. But all's not well here. After all, this is still Hell, and the hotel residents are... more than annoying.
Kudos: 4





	1. Enter: Hotspur

**Author's Note:**

> This was just a freak idea I had after having HH back in my recommendation list while watching a documentary on Suda51. It’s not going to be very long, probably just a few chapters. Thanks aplenty to VAspera for b-reading.

Charlie sighed as she perused the aisles. It’s been a full week since Alastor and his associates “volunteered” themselves to the hotel, and while their efforts in reshaping were genuine, it still left the hotel with one missing component: other tenants.

She thought after Alastor’s disposal of Sir Pentious, the Happy Hotel would have gained notice from the populace and with it, at least one other prospective tenant.

“Psssht,” Angel huffed when he overheard her discussing it with Vaggie. “That Pentious guy was just small fry, gettin’ too big for his hat. He was goin’ under, sooner or later.”

Still, that wouldn’t discourage her. She knew sooner or later, there would be someone tired of being stuck in Hell, and either she would find them or they’d come to her.

Marching out of the marketplace with groceries in hand, she and Vaggie headed back to their limo.

Only to find the roof was caved inward by a torch-wielding human, flat on his back.

“Gaaah… not what I had in mind,” The human groaned. He let go of his torch, which Charlie noticed was topped with a flaming skull, to pull himself off the vehicle.

Charlie was the first to respond, Vaggie left speechless over the state of their limo, mouth agape. “Uhm, excuse me, sir?”

Back on his feet, the human patted himself clean of debris and faced the two. “Sorry about the ride. Coño, that looks expensive…”

It took a moment before she realized what he was: a human. He wore a purple leather jacket, black pants, and his black hair slicked back. A scarred eye and five o’clock shadow gave him that “exotic hispanic” look while his exposed collar showed the beginning of a heavily tattooed chest.

She had never heard of a human in Hell before, aside from stories where demons would take them from the human world. But only a few practice it, now that they’re busy revelling in their own sins to bother the human world.

“What the shit was that!” Vaggie screamed, her groceries forgotten.

“Uh, a crash landing?” the man responded

“From where!?”

He pointed behind Vaggie: a large, twisted apartment complex topped with a billboard advertising Overlord Velvet’s new hellphone.

Vaggie frowned. “The top floor?”

The torch flew up to the pair, the flaming skull at eye-level. “The sign, actually.”

She blinked.

“Oh, where are my manners!” the skull hovered beside the human and gave what looked like a bow. “Johnson, miss! Ex-demon. And this charming devil beside me is Garcia. We’re from out of town.”

“You’re tourists?” Charlie smiled. It was always nice to see new faces in her corner of Hell.

“You demons?” Garcia responded. Compared to the ones he’s killed, they didn’t seem to mind the working lights in town. “A lot better looking than most of the ones I know.”

Charlie took his hand. First impressions were important. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance! I’m Charlie Magne, and this ball of sunshine’s Vaggie!”

Garcia chuckled. Demon or not, she had manners and had a decent sense of humor. “Garcia Hotspur, demon hunter.”

The title put both of them on edge. Johnson noticed, and put on his best smile..

“Don’t worry, ladies!” he chirped. “Despite his rugged exterior, we’d never harm such lovely- wait a second! Magne? As in “Lucifer and Lilith Magne”?”

“...yes?” Charlie smiled sheepishly.

“G, you know who she is? She’s the Princess of Hell!” Johnson flew over their heads, scanning the nearby buildings. “I knew it! This is Pentagram City!”

“Pentagram?” He looked up and whistled at the sight of said pentagram. “Must have made a wrong turn at Albuquerque.”

“This is serious, G!” he screamed. “This place is leagues away from the City of the Damned, and it's controlled by some of the foulest demons in history!”

Garcia flicked his finger at the skull’s forehead, shutting him up. “Relax. If any of them wanted to kill us, they’d have tried by-”

“Checkmate, assho-!”

*BANG*

“-now.”

The two demons flinched. In an instant, the floating skull turned into a giant revolver, which Garcia fired into the mugging demon behind him.

Charlie remembered her handkerchief and wiped the blood off herself, passing it to Vaggie afterwards. It wasn’t like this wasn’t expected, but was wanting one grocery run without a fatality too much to ask?

Meanwhile, Garcia kicked the knife away and leaned over to see his attacker, blood pouring from the hole in his cheek.

“Nice try. Maybe next time, hombre.”

Another pull of the trigger, and Garcia kicked the corpse behind the limo.

Back in his skull form, Johnson tried his best to look apologetic. “Sorry about that, and the car, Ms. Magne, but we’re in a hurry. You know which direction the City of the Damned is?”

It was Charlie's turn to blink. “And what would a demon hunter and a demon-”

“-ex-demon-”

“-ex-demon be headed there in the first place, if I may ask?”

Garcia dusted his hand clean. “What else? There’s a demon there, one I need to kill. Coming here was just bad luck.”

Charlie rubbed her chin. “Well, you see, the City of the Damned isn’t exactly a place you can just walk into. Certainly not for a human. We’ll be happy to drive you there, but…” Charlie nudged at the Garcia-shaped crater in her limo’s roof. “We’d have to get that repaired first. In the meanwhile… why don’t you crash at our hotel?”

“What!?” Vaggie and Johnson screamed.

“Why not? If we let him go by himself, he’d just get lost, and probably kill a bunch of potential clientele like that guy.” Her smile grew. “Besides, what better than an ex-demon and a demon hunter to whip up morale and straighten out Angel Dust, huh?”

Whatever Vaggie was about to say stopped in her throat. She took another look at Garcia and back at the limo. The engine was still running, so she was fairly certain it could drive them back to the hotel at least. But what kind of demon would willingly escort a demon hunter to their home?

Charlie would. The one trying to save demons like they were her own.

“I can vouch for him, sister. The man hates demons, but he doesn’t gun them down willy-nilly.” Johnson quipped.

Garcia took one more look around the block. The streets were too narrow for Johnson’s motorcycle form to take advantage of. Even if he knew his way around, he’d soon be surrounded by demons on all sides. If he stayed with them, at least he'd be safer than out here.

Not sure what else he could do, he relented. “Aye. If you’re willing to drive us there, I’ll wait until it gets fixed. With either of our sense of direction, we’d get lost even with a map.”

Charlie smiled her biggest smile and opened the limo door for them. “Wonderful! Let’s talk details.”

\---

Garcia thought a lot of things when he heard the word “hell”. Fire and brimstone, tortured souls and ubiquitous misery. He saw all that and worse in the City, where the very darkness could kill him.

So it came as a pleasant surprise when Charlie explained her situation and the hotel. Overpopulation and routine exterminations weren’t anything he was unfamiliar with.

Now, a demon that was actively trying to rehabilitate Hell’s denizens? He would have laughed if it weren’t for how earnestly she sold it.

“Saves me the trouble,” he jested, lounging back on his side of the couch, narrowly avoiding the ass-indented ceiling. “Less demons that bother me back home, the better.”

Charlie beamed. At last, another soul that understood her goal. “So, Mr. Hotspur, you said there’s a demon you’re after. Can you tell us more about that?”

Garcia frowned. “That’s not a problem, is it? Believe me, I don’t usually come down here, but when that fucker’s the ruler of the whole damn city and he took my woman, no choice but to come to his home turf.”

“The ruler?” Charlie repeated. “You mean the demon you’re after’s… Fleming?”

She saw Vaggie shiver in her seat. Fleming was one of the most powerful demons in history. Long ago, he fought her father to rule all of Hell, but was defeated and tossed into the deepest pit, now rebuilt as the City of the Damned, for his trouble. No one knew much about the demon himself or his city, as any demon that entered never came back.

“Yep. You’ve no love for him, I hope?”

“None at all! But then, how’d you end up in Pentagram City?”

Garcia shrugged and glanced out the window. Unlike the Damned, this place was more modern, metropolitan. “I’m a demon hunter, not a tour guide to the Underworld. One minute, I’m killing demons in the Damned’s red light district, and in another, I get sucked into a billboard ad for some hostess club.”

“Great, an infernophile,” Vaggie grumbled.

“He prefers the term “demonically inclined”,” Johnson joked before getting whacked by Garcia.

“And what kind of clientele should I expect at this hotel? I warn you: if they’re after my head, I’ll take theirs.”

Charlie curled her hands together. “About that… we only have one official tenant. His name’s Angel Dust, and he’s…” Her speech slowed. She didn’t like the idea of talking about her clients behind their backs, even if they were true.

“Let me guess: porn star? Junkie?”

Charlie felt her cheeks burning, but nodded.

“Name’s a dead giveaway.”

Vaggie crossed her legs “And he’s a former gangster. I don’t know how, but he keeps smuggling guns and other… paraphernalia... into the hotel whenever he sneaks out.”

“Would you look at that? Someone that packs more heat than me,” Johnson laughed.

Vaggie scoffed. “Then there’s the Radio Demon, Alastor, who’s agreed to fund the hotel, Husk, the receptionist and bartender-” she spat out that last one “-and Niffty, Razzle and Dazzle, our housekeepers.”

“And unlike that other guy, they won’t be trying to kill me?”

For the first time since they met, Vaggie smiled. “You’ll find out: we’re here.”

The limo pulled up to the front entrance, Garcia finally got a good look at the hotel. It was more of a mansion than the sky-reaching towers he was used to, but he knew it was a good place to bunk.

“What the heck’s a cruise ship doing in there?” Johnson asked.

“It was there when my parents still owned the place. Never got an answer then, either.” Charlie opened the doors. “Welcome to the Happy Hotel! Everyone, we got guests!”

Garcia had to whistle at the interior. His apartment was anything but cheap - his lover was quite high-maintenance - but this was definitely a place that belonged to the ruler of all Hell. “You never told me you were loaded.”

“Of course she is!” Johnson flew about, admiring every corner. “She’s royalty, after all!”

Husker was the first to spot them by the receptionist desk, reading a magazine. He saw the human approaching, but other than a raised eyebrow, he didn’t seem to care.

Garcia’s eyes glossed over the shelves of booze behind the winged demon. “Anything you got that’s bad?”

“Fuck off, no freebies,” Husker grumbled.

Charlie grabbed him by the arm and brought him to the foyer. For such a spindly demon, she was strong. “Guys! I want you to meet Pentagram City’s first tourist from the human world, Garcia!”

From the second floor, three demons rushed down to meet their guest and host. Two of them looked like palette-swapped goat plushies. The third had red hair and only one eye. All three of them had aprons on, signifying their job as caretakers of the hotel.

“Garcia, this is Razzle and Dazzle, and the one with the dress is Niffty. Guys, this is Garcia, and the flying skull’s Johnson. They’ll be staying with us for the day.”

The goat demons gave a quick salute and returned to their work, but Niffty took a few moments to admire. “Ooh, is he your boyfriend? He looks like the “bad boy” type.”

Garcia chuckled. “Whatever’s Hell for, meeting the good ones?”

Niffty gasped. “You are a bad boy!”

“Trust me, miss,” Johnson laughed. “You don’t know the half of-”

“Oh my!” Niffty swiped the torch. “Umbrellas folded and torches off when indoors, please!”

Charlie giggled. The staff were civil enough, but where were the power players? “By the way, where’s Alastor?”

“He said he had business downtown. He said he’ll be back with some extra furniture and decoration to spruce up the upper floors. He should be back for dinner!” Niffty replied before following Razzle and Dazzle upstairs.

“And Angel Dust? Is he still locking himself in his room?”’

“Uh-huh! He said he’s got a nasty hangover so he’s probably in the bathroom!”

“Good. Hope he drowns himself in the toilet.” Vaggie remarked. “I’ll call a repairman for the limo. It’s still light out, so the should get it fixed by tonight.”

Charlie nodded, but wondered about Angel. That demon could down drugs and booze like a kid does sugar, but he’s usually fine, or at least coherent, the next day.

“Ooh, Mexican food!”

Garcia felt a pair of impossibly thin arms wrap around his shoulders. In a flash, his Boner was in his hand, pointing at the source of the voice.

Behind him was the pinkest demon he’d ever seen. Pink-striped suit, short skirt, heeled boots, and an admittedly impressive hairdo, all covering a pure white fur coat. Incredibly tall and lanky, he practically towered over Garcia.

The hunter snarled. He had gotten so distracted by Charlie and Vaggie that he nearly forgot he was in a house full of demons.

“Easy, big guy,” Angel hissed. His voice was gentle, but the tommy gun in his second pair of hands gave a different idea. “’s just a friendly greeting from Hell. After all, what kind of reforming demon would I be, if I didn’t greet our new guest?” He looked Gracia up and down. “An’ a handsome one at that.”

“Greeting, huh?” Garcia asked. “That involves pointing a gun at my face?”

“It’s not too big, is it, hun? Hope you’re not intimidated.”

“By sloppy aim? You wish.”

Charlie immediately got between them, swiping both their guns out of their hands. “Cool it, both of you! And Angel, we just got the place cleaned up after your last bender!”

“So this is your mocoso of a tenant?” Garcia asked as Johnson reverted to skull form. “The one giving you trouble?”

“Oh Charlie, you shouldn’t have!” Angel cried sarcastically, eyeing Garcia. “Vaggie told ya about all those toys I had in my room, an’ now ya brought a ‘spanic stud right out of a b-movie to teach me a lesson!”

Garcia scowled. “And lesson one’s “shut your hole”, puta.”

Angel raised his brows. “Which one?”

“All of them!” he growled. The demon laughed as he planted himself on a nearby couch, his fanged smile never leaving him.

“Sorry about him.” Charlie said. “He’s… excitable. You know kids, they see a guest in the house and they get all worked up.”

“Hey! I died as an adult before I came down here, ya know! And hush up! I’m still flushing out the high!” Angel pulled out a bottle of water from a minifridge and chugged.

“That’s the kind of demon you’re trying to fix?” Johnson asked. “How’d a nut like him ever survive down here?”

Garcia rubbed his chin. “Why don’t we take him off your hands? Take him with us back to the City? A man of his… talents… would fit well in its brothels.”

That gave Angel pause. A job, in another city? “Oh yeah? What’s so great about there?”

“You mean the Damned?” Johnson asked blankly. “Well, the city’s a real butthole, nothing to lie about that, but its red lights are something! Imagine it: neon as far as the eye can see. The main canal, a deluge of booze, drugs, and other bodily fluids. And the clubs, hoo-wee!” Somehow, he managed a whistle with his lipless mouth. “Angel’s Kiss, Bapho-Mates… there’s something there for every taste, and then some!”

Charlie muffled a laugh. Angel was so absorbed by the description, his cup missed his mouth and spilled into his chest fur. “As pleasant that would be, I’m afraid not. See, he signed a contract to stay here-”

“Well fuck me into the void, that’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout!” Angel crossed his legs over the table, making sure Garcia could see him at his best angle.

“You forgot the most important bit,” Garcia interrupted. “To get in, you need to pass initiation.”

His face fell. “What kind?”

Johnson’s skull bounced in the air. “Oh, you mean the castration thing!”

“What?!” Angel shouted, half-laughing.

“Of course.” Johnson said matter-of-factly. “ To still have your jewels down there’s a precious privilege. Where do you think I lost mine? Gambling?”

Angel rubbed his chin, as though seriously considering whether losing his junk was worth it.

“Oh, and then there’s the part where they pull your teeth out, and if you’re really unlucky, spend the first century as a disembodied head-”

“Eh, I’ll keep it in mind. Besides, I got a good thing going here.” He gave Charlie a curt salute. “Imma go sleep this off, be back for din-din.”

“Oh well! The offer’s open ‘til tomorrow!” Johnson said cheerfully.

As Angel limped back to his room, Charlie gave Garcia a surprised smile. “That was incredible: you actually got him to go to his room willingly! If the Hotel had you, demons might actually try to redeem themselves!”

He chuckled. “Watch it, chica. I like my job.”

“And of course, there’s you, Johnson!” Charlie turned to the ex-demon. “You knew just what to say to grab his attention and wrangle him. The smooth-talker to balance out Garcia’s muscle. I can see why you two work so well together.”

“Indeed! The carrot-and-stick routine never gets old!”

The three of them faced the entrance. Another demon, this one dressed in all red, a monocle on one eye, and a walking cane topped with a radio mic was by the doorway.

“I’m back with the additional furniture, my dear!” At the wave of his cane, a large portal appeared, spitting out several boxes beside him. “Ah, and you’ve introduced the hotel to our newest demon hunter. Your sense of initiative is an inspiration. Welcome aboard, señor Hotspur.”

He stretched his hand out, but Garcia refused and met the demon’s eyes. “You must be… the Radiohead our host’s friend mentioned.”

“Radio Demon!” Charlie corrected. Thankfully, he didn’t seem offended.

“It’s alright, dear. After all, it’s not everyday we host such a famous demon hunter!” Alastor withdrew his hand, his smile widening. “And you must excuse Ms. Vagatha. She is only looking out for the future of Ms. Magne’s little project.”

Garcia scoffed. “You know me?”

Alastor coughed into his hand before flicking a switch on his cane. “Garcia F. Hotspur, demon hunter extraordinaire. When demons hear the name, they run the other way!”

Another click, and a spotlight shone on Garcia and Johnson.

“Tonight, he’s off with his trusty Johnson, to rescue his beloved from the clutches of the Prince of Evil and the ruler of the Damned himself! Am I wrong?”

Garcia covered his ears. The increased volume made his teeth ache, and Johnson was on the ground, flopping like a fish.

“Jeez! Can you go any louder? I think there’s people on the other side of town that didn’t hear you!”

Garcia grinned. “News travels fast in the Underworld.”

“Nonsense, my good man. Your story’s written all over your face!” Alastor teased. “Why else would a demon hunter come down here? It’s the most classic tragedy! The Alighieri, condemning himself to eternal torment, all for his darling Beatrice! Ah, but we’re short on time!” He turned his mic and spotlight off. The boxes levitated beside him as he marched to the stairs. “You must excuse me. I must put these away before dinner! See you then, ladies, gentlemen!”

Even as the demon disappeared upstairs, Garcia felt his skin crawl. Vaggie approached beside him, her eyes watching Alastor’s every step.

“I see why you don’t like him.” Garcia smirked at her. “A real hijo de perra, that one.”

Vaggie nodded. “I said the same thing. Don’t trust him as far as you can throw him.”

“I just can’t believe he actually said “his Johnson” with a straight face,” Johnson said.

Charlie smiled nervously. “Sooo, that’s everyone… what do you think?”

Garcia and Johnson looked at each other before turning back to her.

“Chica, I’ve been dealing with Fleming’s demon goons all day. Compared to that, this might as well be babysitting.”

Vaggie grinned. “Don’t get too impressed, Charlie. That’s just his machismo talking.”

*GRWOOOO~*

Everyone turned their head to Garcia, who only shrugged.

“Really, G?” Johnson finally asked.

“It’s not like there’s anything to eat in the Damned,” he groaned. “And fucking strawberrys don’t count.”

“Guess it’s time for dinner!” Charlie headed to the dining hall, and Vaggie and Garcia followed behind. “What’s the problem with strawberry? Allergic? Oh, that reminds me, I need to remember to make sure our menu caters to our tenants’ dietary habits in the future!”

“Really? Really??” Johnson sighed and flew behind them.

“Why not?” Garcia smirked. “We gotta move the plot somehow.”


	2. Residents: Evil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picking up some drama, dropping some bombs. Expect more in the next, and last chapter.

“Get the fuck out!”

“It’s true. My apartment was a mess by the time she calmed down.”

Angel leaned his head back, cackling. “You’re beyond simp! Property damage wit’ a helping ‘ah noncon knifeplay, and Chuckie here thinks I’m fucked up!”

“That’s the price for falling for a güera,” Garcia said, making Angel laugh even harder.

Charlie ignored the rude demon nearly falling out of his chair, but smiled along. Dinner had been lively with their new guests, especially with Angel and Niffty’s near constant pestering of them. Thankfully, after Garcia glossed over his own situation in Hell, Johnson was more than happy to regal them in their history and adventures. They were particularly interested by the stories of Fleming’s VIPs. Finally, storytime ended on how Johnson ended up in the human world.

“ ‘Wrong place at the wrong time’ is an understatement,” he finished, bobbing up and down on the dinner table lantern.

Despite the ex-demon and demon hunter’s nonchalance, Charlie and Vaggie shared a tender smile. The floating skull, as well as the mentioned half-demon vendor Christopher, was proof that there existed demons wanting more than indulging in Hell’s vices.

Charlie turned to the human, who only took small bites out of the sides. “Something wrong, Garcia? You barely touched your burger.”

Garcia blinked and to everyone’s surprise, looked apologetic. “Er, sorry. I’m just thinking. Of Paula.”

Charlie gave a small smile. “You really care for her. Even with her… moments, you love her, and I’m sure she loves you back. But you can’t do your job on an empty stomach.”

“Don’t tell me you buy that shit, Chuck,” Angel grunted through a mouthful of meat. “Kidnapping a psycho chick from a dump, even you can’t twist that into somethin’ sappy.” He downed his glass of wine. “Maybe he was lookin’ for a quick fuck and thought, “meh, why not.”.”

Charlie cringed at Angel’s language towards her guest. Vaggie was particularly aggravated, her glass cracking. But the hunter laughed it off.

“Now that’s uncalled for!” Johnson rebutted. “Sure, he’s got some fetishes - who hasn’t - but-”

“The kind of talk I expect from an old puta,” Garcia interrupted. He was smiling, but there was a layer of anger in his voice. “But I think that’s more up your alley.”

Angel snorted. “Excuse you, but I’m a demon with some standards.”

“You mean anyone that pays?”

“Ooooh!” Husk whooped between them.

“Even if you swung her way, she’ll rip you apart.” Garcia’s smirk grew bigger as Angel’s scowl deepened. “ You wouldn’t be able to handle her.”

Angel snarled. “Ya sayin’ you can?”

“Maybe I’ll bring her here for vacation, and I can show you how it’s done. You could use the example.”

“Uh, G, maybe you shouldn’t piss off the spider hooker demon with the tommy in his cleavage?” Johnson asked quietly.

“Don’t trouble yourself, Dusty! As they say, different strokes for different folks!”

Before anyone could notice, Alastor slid between Garcia and Angel, smiling his widest smile.

“I didn’t think men such as yourself still existed, señor,” he laughed. “The model man of your time. Loyal to a single lover, fearless in the face of danger, determined… to a dangerous degree.”

“Now if he could do something about that ego, he might leave the hotel in one piece,” Vaggie snarked.

“It’s the man’s nature, Vagatha.” Alastor’s grip on the two men’s seats tightened, cracking the wood. “Men like Hotspur can’t help but compare and compete, especially when it involves their propensity for violence and passion for their women.”

Garcia raised a brow. “And what would you know of passion?”

“Ha! Only that it’s a silly liability. A flaw inevitably exploited!” Alastor gave a hard pat on both men’s backs before returning to his seat. “And passion for women, even worse! Only fools let themselves be dragged on by such a passing fling.”

Garcia glared him down. “Paula isn't passing or a fling, Radiohead,” he replied.

Alastor chuckled. “Always need to have the last word in, señor. How predictable.”

\---

“Sorry about Alastor. He’s always getting into people’s business.”

“Hm? Oh, him,” Garcia grunted. He stared at the biggest portrait in the lobby, one with Charlie and her parents. “Did your familia live here before… them? Before now?”

“Yes, it was something of a second home to us.” Charlie hoisted the last plate onto the trolley for Razzle. “Though now, my father’s abandoned it, so I refurbished it into the hotel.”

“And that puta and Radiohead are supposed to reform here?”

“It’s not much of a “reformation” if they don’t do it themselves,” Charlie answered as she reclined on a nearby couch. After a tense dinner party and with the guests back in their rooms, she needed to relax “The hotel is mostly to be an environment where they’re isolated from… certain external factors. That way, that can better focus on improving themselves.”

Garcia frowned. “And your padres? They didn’t want to help?”

Charlie cringed. “Eh… they didn’t think too well of my idea, but they didn’t stop me, so I went through with it.”

“Sounds like typical rulers of Hell,” Johnson said. “Too busy to look after their only girl.”

“It’s not like she’s helpless,” Vaggie retorted. “She knew how tough running this place was gonna be; the type of clientele we’re gonna get. We’re not gonna stop just because of a bad start.”

“I’m not doubting her, amiga. But it’s going to take more than good habits to get someone out of here.” Garcia walked up to a statue of Lucifer, scoffing at the demon’s toothy smile directed at a disapproving Lilith. “They need something, anything, to work towards. Without that, nothing will change, certainly not them.”

“I’m guessing you’re speaking from experience?” Vaggie asked. “Let me guess: demons killed your family when you were young?” When Garcia chuckled, Vaggie’s smirk disappeared.

“I dedicated my life to hunting them down, but eventually, I hit the point that wasn’t enough. Like a junkie, you do what you do to scratch that itch, but it stops working. A life of killing, and all I got was a condo with too many records to listen to.”

“But then Paula came, right?” Charlie asked.

Garcia covered his mouth to chuckle. “Yeah. And the rest... it’s like that James Brown song.” Garcia looked around. Alastor and Angel were back upstairs. Charlie noticed that he relaxed his body as he leaned against the wall. “It’s my fault she’s down here.”

“G, you can’t blame yourself for what Fleming did,” Johnson said. “He would have taken her no matter what, she’s his-”

“Don’t say it!” he growled back. “Makes me sick just thinking about it. She’s not his anything.”

“What I mean is, when it comes to being a demon, he’s the lowest of the low; you can’t trust anything that comes from him.”

Garcia scowled. “Doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change the fact I was too weak to save her.”

Charlie laid down her cup and walked over to him. “Hope you don’t mind me asking, but… why did Fleming take her, specifically?”

Garcia saw her worried look and took a deep breath.

“Besides her being the most beautiful woman in the world?” A small smile returned to his face. “I’ve killed a lot of demons back home, chica. A lot of them happened to be on Fleming’s payroll.”

“But then… why take her? Why not just kill you himself?” Vaggie asked.

Garcia looked at Johnson, who tried to shrug his non-existent shoulders. For the first time since Charlie and Vaggie met him, Garcia looked worried.

“We’ve no proof of this,” Johnson started. “But we think it’s because… she was one of his mistresses. Before Garcia found her.”

After a few seconds to ponder, Charlie gasped and Vaggie blinked. “You don’t mean she’s…”

It was something of a silent agreement between him and Garcia ever since they found the story of the Unbreakable Huntress. Garcia never felt comfortable thinking of his lover as one of Fleming’s.

“Honestly, I doubt we’ll ever be sure,” Johnson added. “None of us trust Fleming as far as we can toss him, and Paula… well, “coherent” isn’t exactly part of her vocabulary, even before Fleming.”

Charlie couldn’t help but shudder. Garcia didn’t go into too much detail about it, but his story about Fleming was, for her at least, appetite-killing. Demons bringing humans to Hell was at least in the realm of possibility, but for a demon to repeatedly resurrect one for torture? Insanity would be the beginning on the list of problems Paula would have to sort through.

Worse was Fleming’s power to create demons that could permanently kill other demons. Johnson’s story about the Sisters Grim was one that caught everyone off-guard. If Fleming himself had such a power… it was a good thing he’d rather stay in the Damned.

Slowly, Garcia chuckled and walked away. “No wonder the fucker’s got it in for me: he thinks I stole his woman, and now he wants payback, with interest.”

\---

The moon had reached its peak, and with Vaggie telling her the repairdemon wouldn’t be done with her limo until the morning, she brought Garcia to a spare room.

“Are all your rooms like this?” Johnson asked as he hovered around. “If so, I don’t see why you don’t have more patrons!”

Charlie beamed. “There wasn’t too much to change up from when my family owned the place, so the rooms are mostly untouched.”

Garcia rapped his knuckles on the walls. “I’d prep thicker walls, chica. When Paula’s in the mood, she can wake up the entire building.”

“And I’ll be sure to keep the kitchen utensils out of sight.” Charlie quipped.

As Johnson excused himself to the bathroom (for whatever reason), Garcia opened the window. Distant sounds of gunfire, electric lights and the occasional demon screams made him chuckle.

“Something wrong?” he asked.

Charlie blinked. “Oh, it’s nothing, I was just… sorry for staring.”

“Careful now,” he joked. “If Paula saw you staring like that, she’d kill us both.”

Charlie groaned, trying to stay serious. “You’re still going to save her, aren’t you?” When he didn’t answer, she pressed on. “Even if she’s not the person you thought she was, you still love her, don’t you?”

Garcia glanced at the bathroom door and planted himself on a nearby chair. “The only woman I love, the only one I ever will love, is Paula, and I would do anything for her. That’s what I told myself-told her- when I got this.” He pointed to the tattoo on his neck. “I don’t know who she really is, but I know I love her, there is love in her, and I don’t go back on my word. I don’t like wasting time thinking about maybes.”

Charlie couldn’t help but smile at his conviction. “I wish I had your confidence.”

He smiled at her. “It comes with experience. You said you started this hotel just recently, yeah?” When Charlie nodded, his eyes focused. “Then don’t forget that passion. When things go to shit, without the pasión that started them, it won’t ever get out of it. It’s times like that when your will, your true fuerza, is tested.”

Charlie hesitated. As motivating as his words were (she made a mental note to write them down later), the harshness in his voice made her think. “Is that what you think of your… situation?”

Garcia’s face hardened. “What kind of man can’t even save the woman he loves?”

“The kind of man that needs help.” His sudden glare only proved her right. “I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with what you’re doing, but… up against a demon like Fleming and his City, the odds are pretty stacked against you, you know?”

Garcia stood up, a determined look on his face. “That’s where you’re wrong, this is-”

*BSSSSTTZ!*

Their heads craned up, looking around for the source of the sound. It was like a combination of a buzzer and radio static.

“There’s a PA system here?” Garcia asked.

Charlie nodded, just as confused. “Yeah, but it’s never been used before.”

Soon, the static cleared up and a woman’s voice hummed out of the speakers. A familiar song began, and Garcia gritted his teeth,

“That amiga of yours,” Garcia said slowly. “She doesn’t sing, does she?”

Charlie shook her head, and Johnson slammed out of the bathroom.

“Garcia! That’s-”

“I know,” Garcia snarled. “Chica! Where’s the mic for that thing?!”

Before she could come up with a response, Johnson turned back into his gun form and the demon hunter kicked the door open.

“Garcia, wait!” Charlie rushed behind him. She noticed the singing was getting louder. “What’s happening? What’s the problem?”

“I know that singing - it’s one of Fleming’s - she’s here!” he growled.

“Just to be sure, hon, you don’t have any other demons here, do you?” Johnson asked.

“Of course not!”

“Doesn’t matter,” Garcia spat. “Fleming and his flunkies can teleport anywhere, even in the human world. No surprise he can do the same here.”

Charlie’s stomach sank. Garcia told them all about how powerful Fleming’s VIPs were, but knowing that one of them was in her hotel, the fact that Fleming himself could be here, sent chills all over her.

“Angel, Vaggie!” She ran past the demon hunters with blinding speed. “I need to check on them... Garcia, go on ahead! The broadcast room is past the main hall, down to the basement, besides the auditorium!”

“Chica! Don’t-!”

Suddenly, the whole hotel trembled, stopping them in their tracks. The lights flickered off, leaving only outside light to illuminate the hallway.

“Dammit, what now!” Garcia screamed.

“G, look!”

He faced the opposite end of the hall, where Charlie was running towards. In a blink, a wave of thick, purple smog flooded the entire hallway.

Undaunted, Charlie continued running until she noticed the demon hunter lagging behind her. Just a few seconds ago, he was sprinting, but now he was on his knees in pain “Garcia! what’s wrong?”

“It’s Darkness! Straight from the City of the Damned! It’s toxic to humans!” Johnson shouted. “Garcia!”

“I know!”

To her surprise, he kept running down the hall, ignoring the Darkness burning his skin.  
“What are you doing! You need to get out of here!” Charlie ran back to him, hoisting his free arm and trying to pull him the other direction.

But despite her efforts, Garcia pushed onward with surprising strength.

“Let go, chica! I need a clear shot!”

She saw his gun and noticed he was aiming at something at the end of the hall. He pulled the trigger, letting fly a blinding fireball that hit-

A stuffed goat head? When did we have those here?

To add to her surprise, the head came to life upon being struck, the candles on its head glowing brighter than any of the ceiling lamps.

Garcia fell back on the ground, catching his breath. Charlie looked around: the Darkness was gone.

“That was… what was that?!” she asked exasperatedly.

Slowly Garcia stood up, donning a smirk. “Don’t you know? Goats are a natural source of light. Good thing you had them around.”

Charlie stared at the stuffed animal, now chewing on a nearby potted fern. “But… the hotel never had these. I don’t remember buying them when I was reno- hey!”

Garcia ignored her and ran back to the foyer. “Mic room in the basement, got it!”

Charlie thought of following him, but remembered: she had to get Vaggie and Angel to safety.

Thankfully, that wasn’t hard to do: all she had to do was follow the sound of gunfire.

\---

Vaggie let out a euphoric sigh as she exited the shower. Maybe Charlie was right in inviting Garcia over. Nights were rarely quiet for her to enjoy and the demon hunter’s presence might have had something to do with it.

She chuckled as she put her clothes back on. She’s known worse men when she was human. Seeing one alive in Hell was a pleasant surprise, as a guest, even more so.

Maybe I should take a trip back up someday. See how much things’ changed.

A scream knocked her out of her thoughts. Angel Dust.

“Vaggie! A little help?!”

She held her breath before it turned into a yell. He never used her name before, or asked for help.

“What is it now?!”

“Just get in here!”

Vaggie growled and picked up her spear. Her room wasn’t far from Angel’s, but that didn’t mean he had to call her for every little thing!

If he’s in the middle of another bender, or tied up in one of his toys again, I’m going to cut off-

She froze when she opened the door. In the middle of Angel’s room, a woman was hanging by her neck.

“What… the fu-!”

Angel wrapped his hands around her mouth before she could speak anymore.

“I swear, this ain’t what it looks like!”

Vaggie reflexively pointed her spear at his neck, but he persisted. She could see panic in all eight eyes.

“I was just outside, getting a smoke, and I come back, and she was just there! I swear, I didn’t touch her or nothin’!”

She freed herself from his arms and stared back and forth between the two. Now that she had a moment to think, something was definitely off. A human that dies in Hell eventually turns into a demon. However, her corpse is still here, and if what Angel said was true, she’s been hanging for a while, yet her skin still had colour.

“Just help me get her down. Lay her on the bed.”

Angel grumbled, clearly disgusted at touching a dead body. But it was that or face the end of her spear, and his guns were confiscated and locked in another room.

Now that the body was untied and laid down, Vaggie could get a good look at her. It wasn’t hard, considering the state of her dress.

“Ahk, Don’t tell me you’re gettin’ off on this?” Angel groaned.

Vaggie didn’t respond and placed her ear to her chest. No breathing or heartbeat, but she was warm to the touch. She gritted her teeth and grabbed Angel by his lapel.

“Go get Charlie, NOW!” she barked. “And if you see him, get Garcia!”

Angel was about to rebut, but hesitated. This wasn’t like Vaggie’s usual annoyance at his antics. Her full attention was on the woman.

“Fine, just don’t touch anything, got it?” he grumbled before dashing off.

Vaggie checked if she was perfectly flat on the bed and craned the woman’s head upward. Holding her head still, she gave two quick puffs of air into her mouth before compressing her chest with both hands.

Hope I still remember how to do this.... 30 to 2, right? What are the odds I’d be doing this in Hell?

“Come on, don’t die on me, not here of all places. If your boyfriend sees us like this, he’ll kill me.”

Her weak smile fell when she felt the woman’s skin grow colder. She blew two more times in her and continued compressing.

“Please, You still need to kill Garcia for letting you get kidnapped here in the first place, remember? What kinda guy lets a lady like you get away?”

“Ka-hack! Khak-kauk!”

The sudden coughs made her step back. The woman coughed wildly, her eyes wide open in shock and pain.

Vaggie let the woman continue for another minute before stepping closer. “You alright? You good now?” She looked around for anything to clean her up, only to be reminded that she was in Angel’s room. “Fuck, doesn’t that puta have any tissues…”

“Who… who are… where am I?”

Vaggie hesitated. What would Garcia think if she saw the two of them like this? “Uh, name’s Vaggie. You’re Paula, right?” She smiled when the woman slowly nodded. “Santa infierno, that’s good to hear. You’re gonna be fine. Garcia’s here, he’s coming right now, and-”

“Garcia?” Vaggie saw her eyes glint at the name. “Where… where am I?” Paula asked blankly, turning to get up.

“Hey hey, stay on the bed!” Vaggie said. “You just got here. Actually, let’s start there: how did you get here?”

Despite this, Paula kept moving, walking up to the window and spotted the pentagram in the sky. “Oh… oh no… I’m still in Hell?”

Vaggie heard the panic in her voice and wrapped an arm around her. “Yes, but don’t worry, you’re safe here, and-”

Paula swiped the demon’s hand away and fell down in panic. “No no no no! Not here, not again!” She clutched her head and crawled until her back hit the wall. “He’s here! He’s coming! Gar-gah!”

To Vaggie’s horror, Paula’s stomach suddenly ripped open. A pair of claws glistened as they carved their way out.

Instantly, she backed away and reached around for her spear, which unfortunately was laid on the opposite wall of the room. But before she could take another step, she saw it crawl out: gaunt, skeletal, and hungry, the monster’s glowing eyes focused on its first target.

What the hell kind of demon is that?!

But she didn’t let herself be distracted. She jumped across the bed and kicked her spear into her hands. The demon limped towards her and lunged, only to find a sharp blade through its mouth.

“Come esto!” With a twist of her spear, the demon’s head ripped off and fell lifelessly to the carpet. “Paula!”

Before she could get back to her, three more demons spawned between them. To her horror, the demons were coming out of Paula indefinitely, and a couple of them carried her to the window.

“No!”

Vaggie cut one two of the demons down before the last one grabbed her spear. In a blink, she reached into her stocking and pulled out a pistol, capping the last demon.

Putting the safety back on, she ran to the window. Paula and the rest of the demons were gone.

“... what the fuck just happened?!” First, their guest’s girlfriend shows up dead, then demons start coming out of her like a clown car!

“Vaggie! We got another problem!”

Following the scream came gunfire. Looks like Angel had another spare stash of guns hidden around.

She ran out, smiling when she saw Charlie blasting her share of demons alongside Angel with a pistol.

“Charlie!” Vaggie cleared out her hallway and joined the pair. “Where’s Garcia? A demon hunter sounds really helpful right now.”

“He went off to find the demon singing that song.” She pointed to one of the speakers on the ceiling. A soft but loud humming now filled the entire hotel, a pleasant yet disturbing sound punctuated by Angel’s guns. “I think it’s attracting the demons. We need to help him.”

“So find the bitch and shut her up? Works for me!” Angel emptied his tommy gun into the last demon and looked around. “Where’s Alastor? This whole place is comin’ apart!”

“He’s probably trying to find the demon, too.” Charlie remembered how invested he was in the hotel, even if it was for the sake of his sick amusement. He wouldn’t leave them hanging. “Right now, let’s find Garcia. I’m not letting our first guest die here!”

\---

Garcia shot the last goat head in sight, sighing as light filled the basement hallway.

“Finally, a moment to breathe!” He spotted a bottle of alcohol on the ground and smied. “A pick-me-up, right on time.”

Just as he pulled the cork, he heard rustling behind him.

“Hey! That’s mine!”

Garcia frowned down his gun’s sights. It was the bartender demon from before, exiting from a nearby bathroom with a bottle of booze in hand.

“Where’s that bitch broadcasting from?” Garica snarled.

“Fuck if I know, I just started working here!” The demon took a swig, growling when he realized it was empty.

Suddenly, a nearby door burst open, with demons practically flooding out.

“Johnson!”

“Got it!”

Garcia smirked as his Boner transformed into a heavy rifle, and fired waves of teeth into the crowd. In a few seconds, all that remained of them were limbs and blood staining the walls.

In the moment of gunfire, one of the demons spilled out of the doorway, running towards Husk. Snarling, he slammed his empty bottle on the demon’s head, and without missing a beat, jammed the shattered half into its face, killing it.

“Not bad, Husky! You ever thought of demon hunting as a career?” Johnson asked.

“Considering it,” he chuckled as he stomped the demon’s head in for good measure.

Garcia ignored him and faced the doorway the demons came out from. The singing was definitely coming from there. “Hey, is there a theatre or something there?”

“Wha? Oh yeah, a big one. Never got used, though.”

“The auditorium… figures she’d be there, then.” The singing was getting louder, and he could hear gunfire behind them. The rest of the hotel staff must be fighting off the rest of the demons. “Get back with the rest of the staff. You’ll be safer with them.”

“Ugh, fuck off. I’m just gonna find a quiet corner ‘til this blows over.” he groaned, walking back into the bathroom

“Don’t pull an Elvis!” Johnson shouted behind him, eliciting a chuckle out of Garcia.

“Don’t jinx him. Get ready, Johnson.” Garcia shrugged and walked in the room.

The auditorium was larger than he thought, but that it made it easier to find his target. At the end of the room, a woman was singing and dancing across the stage, with several stage lights on her. If she noticed him, she didn’t show it.

“Remember me, perra?!” Garcia shouted over her singing. He walked down the aisle, frowning when she didn’t react. “How I let you live, after you nearly killed me?”

The demon continued dancing, and Garcia had enough. He fired, and she stopped moving. She silently brushed her hair, now singed from the bullet passing through.

“Fleming sent you, didn’t he? To kill me?”

She faced him, showing him her empty eyes. She fell to her knees, covering her face and sobbing.

Garcia got on the stage. He lowered his gun, but kept his distance.

“One last chance, Justine. You don’t have to kill me, and I don’t have to kill you. This hotel can rehabilitate you. You don’t have to work under him.”

The demon slowly got back on her feet. She stared at him, and grabbed her burnt hair.

Without warning, she screamed, releasing a wave of Darkness from herself.

Garcia covered his ears, but that didn’t stop him from flying back to the end of the auditorium. He fell to the ground, his ears ringing and body aching.

“Well, that didn’t work,” Johnson grumbled. “Got to hand it to you, though: that was the most civil I've ever seen you with a demon. Downright gentlemanly.”

Despite the pain, he grinned. “What can I say? I got a soft spot for crazy blondes.” He shook himself awake and faced the demon, now towering over the entire auditorium as a familiar giant mannequin. “But looks like she’s not in the mood to listen. Ready, Johnson?”

Johnson transformed back into his pistol form. “Always, G.”


End file.
